How small acts of civic kindness can lift your spirits

How small acts of civic kindness can lift your spirits

We‘ve all experienced this. Running late for that first cup of morning java, your mind is a swarm of unclear emails and overwhelming commitments and the whole world is just a little off and a little too loud and a little too brisk and completely apathetic. When suddenly, someone kindly opens a door for you with a real, sincere, warm smile. Or lets you go first in line since the most you are holding is one banana. Once more, the static inside begins to settle. Suddenly, the sands are lifting. The day feels a fraction lighter. Most commonly, we think about civic sense as a strict series of cold social rules paying taxes in time, separating your garbage, being 5 km/h under the speed limit. Those are all important, of course, but true civic sense is more fluid. It is the social cement that holds societies together, and manifests itself most clearly in tiny gestures of generosity. Here‘s the best-kept secret about this civic kindness: it‘s good for your neighborhood yes. But it‘s also a biological and psychological superpower for your own mental health. The Science Behind the “Helper’s High” When you do something nice for someone you don‘t know maybe help carry their dropped grocery bag to the car, or kick a piece of litter out of the way on a path the brain doesn‘t simply note the accomplishment. Psychologists refer to this as the “Helper‘s High.” The brain floods the brain with the following happiness chemicals: Oxytocin: Known as the “love hormone”, oxytocin helps to decrease blood pressure, help your heart, and boost trust and sociability. Dopamine: Dopamine is your brain‘s reward system. When you‘ve just done something good it causes a spike of dopamine that instantly makes you feel good about yourself and excited about the future. Serotonin: One of the most important hormones in your body; this chemical controls your mood, reducing anxiety and preventing depression. In a culture where we shell out hundreds of dollars on wellness apps, gym memberships and green juices, we neglect the most powerful yet entirely free mental health hack at our disposal: neighborliness. Micro-Civic Acts: Small Effort, Massive Return You don‘t have to finance a new public park or run for local office to practice civic kindness. The trick is in the “micro-acts” small, bordering-on-automatic actions we take every day that say, “I hear you, we‘re on the same team. Here is a quick look at how common micro-acts of civic sense shift your internal state: The Civic Act The Mental Shift Returning a stray shopping cart Reinforces order, a personal feeling of control, and responsibility, which mitigates chaotic feelings. - Allow others to merge into traffic- Turns off the competitive fight-or-flight reaction, replacing agitation with sluggishness and serenity. May I greet my neighbor sanitation worker? Separates you from feelings of loneliness and sets you grounded within your life context the block and community in which you live. Holding the elevator door Refocuses the intellect to the present moment instead of dwelling on future worries. Breaking the Modern Loneliness Epidemic We are living in an age of incredible interconnectedness, and yet we have never been more lonely. We slip through our cities and suburbs like ghosts, fixated on our screens, ignoring the human beings who stand between us and our destinations. Loneliness begets anxiety, and a messed-up outlook on life. Civic charity will be the best medicine to treat this alienation. Every time you employ your civic consciousness say, informing someone they forgot to zip up their backpack, or pulling hard on your dog on the sidewalk so that a passing stroller-drivvle doesn‘t bowl you over you crack the glass wall of isolation. You realize that you are, actually, a member of a group. These micro-interactions are social vitamin supplements. They show that the world is not an arid wasteland of unfriendly people, but a shared place of inhabitants. How to Build Your “Civic Kindness” Routine Civic sense is the muscle that needs to be flexed everyday, as any other habit. If you want to keep uplifting the mood day after day, try infusing these three two expressions into your life: 1. Practice Active Looking We cannot be compassionate if we are oblivious to our environment. Take a moment to take your eyes away from your phone while walking down the street. Observe your surroundings. Is there an abandoned bottle of plastic next to a bin? Place it inside. Does anybody appear confused? Give directions. 2. Choose Patience Over Speed We live in a culture where speed is king. But speed is the foe of civic good judgment. The next time you drive or shop, let someone else have the privilege of luck for a change. The ten seconds you spend 4 seconds more being kind will be repaid twofold in the rush of serotonin you‘ll feel as grace and not id instinct. 3. Leave Spaces Better Than You Found Them Have fun with it. Be dedicated to straightening out the gym bench after your workout, having your library book neatly shelved, and dumping your tray in the trash at the food court. Respect all public places the way you respect your own living room. Pride in ownership of your community can really help. The Beautiful Truth Real civic sense is not martyrdom nor can it be a showoff on Twitter. It is about silently and radically accepting our common human identity. The act of giving and contributing to the health and wellbeing of your world creates an exponential healthy return on that gift. You walk a little heavier, breathe a little freer, and the world feels a little safer. You take care of your community you end up taking care of yourself. So, when you walk out the door today, go ahead and ask yourself: what is one small kindness I can leave here for someone? Your spirit will thank you.

#wellbeing#selfcare#mindfulpareting#selfeducation#selfgrowth#mindfulness#mentalwellbeing

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Clearing the Digital Fog: How Stepping Away from Screens Restores Your Sanity

 Disconnect to Reconnect: clearing the clutter of the Mind

Now, think about the very first thing that you do when you wake up in the morning. I‘ll have to bet that it‘s not brushing your teeth or going for a run it‘s grabbing your cell phone. Our eyes are glued to our cell phones (or some sort of screen) from the second we wake up until the second we lay down to go to sleep. 

It’s true: today’s smartphones and computers are undeniably a godsend, just not them all the time. Our minds simply aren’t built to deal with the constant barrage of notifications, alerts and online videos we’re hit with on a daily basis. It‘s difficult to concentrate and it’s stressful.

If your mind is constantly cloudy, you may need to go through a digital detox. Digital detox simply means taking a planned break from your electronic devices so that your brain can catch a break. 

Why Our Screens Make Us Tired

And this is where we need to understand the psychology behind the creation of today‘s apps. Apps and social media sites are engineered to be addictive. Every time you get a “like” a message or a new notification, your brain is rewarded with a tiny spike of an addictive happy hormone called dopamine..

“We have given up deep, thoughtful introspection in favor of the quick gratification of a phone screen.”

Since we are rewarded so quickly by our phones, life can become a little dull without them. We stop paying attention for any amount of time at all, let alone several minutes. Filling every moment of every free second with a screen leaves no time for our mind to relax and focus on itself and organize thoughts and feelings.

The Amazing Benefits of Stepping Away

Having a digital detox doesn‘t mean cancel your cell plan and run away to the woods. It is simply about knowing what your limits are. When you take a break from all things digital, your mind starts to...

Focus improved: Freed from the distraction of a buzz or beep every five minutes, you can actually engage with what you are doing. You will noticed that things don‘t seem half as time-consuming or difficult.

Less Stress and Anxiety: Social media can make us compare our average days to everyone else’ highlight reels. Taking a break removes us from that comparison trap and quickly gives us a bit of relief and peace of mind.

Genuine Brain Rest: Research has demonstrated that if we are able to give our brain real silence and rest, it benefits our memory, our learning and our emotional well-being.

Your Easy Step-by-Step Guide to a Digital Detox

Can be difficult but here are some very easy for you to try to make it not so terrifying:

1. Set Your Own Rules

You choose what a detox means for you. Perhaps it‘s going a weekend with no social media. Or maybe it‘s turning your phone off at 8:00 PM every evening. Whatever goal is realistic for you.

2. Create “No-Phone” Zones

Designate parts of your home as device free. Ideal starting points are the dinner table and your bedroom. Consider charging your mobile in the kitchen overnight. This prevents you from spending ages examining your device late into the night; you‘ll wake up to first thoughts of your mind, not your screen.

3. Fill the Empty Space

If you put away your device and just sit there with nothing to do, you‘ll end up grabbing for it again and again until boredom takes over. Prepare yourself! Have something else to do with your free time actual activities such as reading a real book, hiking outside, journaling, or cooking.

4. Try “Micro-Detoxes”

You don‘t have to wait until the weekend to give your eyes a rest. Get away for five minute walks during the day without your cell and zone out. Think about anything you want don‘t listen to a podcast or check a text.

The Return to Clarity

When you can finally get away from that screen you will find that the mental haze begins to fade. The world around you will become sharper and more distinct. You will pay closer attention to what your friends are saying, get more out of your left overs hobbies, and suddenly feel that you are back in control of your own time.

Technology is an amazing tool when used mindfully. And it becomes a nightmare when it enslaves us and allows to slowly suck the life out of us. A digital detox I good way of taking back control of your mind.

Try it right now at least for one hour. Your brain will thank you.

#mentalhealthawareness#mindfulness #wellbeing#selfcare#positivevibes #loveyourself#educationforall

Saying "No" gracefully: Setting boundaries with loved ones

 Having to say “no” a complete stranger or a needy coworker is one thing.  But how hard is it,  to turn down a parent? Your spouse. Your brother or sister. A friend you have known for years?

A single honest no to those we care about can feel like a slap. What about damaging someone‘s pride or incurring their wrath or just being a spoilsport.  Tiding over everyone at the cost of your own well-being or helplessly agreeing when you are emotionally drained or when your moral values are compromised will not save your marriage or the relationship;  it will only cause silent bitterness

Boundaries are not a form of rejection; they are rules of engagement so that you can love people without losing yourself in the process. Learn now to deliver the artful“no” to keep your boundaries intact without other friction.

1. Why Saying “Yes” to Everyone Leads to Burnout

We were all wired to be people-pleasers,  particularly around our families. We want to be the strong one, the fixer, the peacemaker.  But every time you mindlessly say “yes” to someone else, you are really, actually, unknowingly saying “no” to yourself no to your relaxation, no to your mind, no to you. 

Eventually, this imbalance leads to a toxic emotional atmosphere. You experience being exhausted, unappreciated, and annoyed by the people you love.  You can‘t use boundaries to keep people out. Boundaries are gates that are wide open and show people exactly where your limits are and where your territory starts.

2. The Three Pillars of a Graceful Refusal

An effective boundary with a loved one has a combination of kindness and strength.  It is not necessary to be brutal to be effective.  Most gracefully refused requests follow three important principles.

 Acknowledge and Validate: Beginning by thanking them.  Show them that you understand what they are requesting or why it is important to them.

State the Boundary Directly What to say and Not.  Be straightforward, clear and precise. Don‘t use sophisticated language,  complex, lengthy and complicating assertions. No white lies or masked assertions. 

Propose a different perspective (If You Can):  Even if you want to help but just can‘t make it happen as asked, offer to support them in a different way that is truly doable.

3. Real-Life Scripts for Everyday Scenarios

If the words don’t flow freely, having a few canned responses ready in your head can help reduce the stress. Here are four archetypal family moments and gentle yet strong responses to them:

Scenario A: The Last-Minute Favor

When your family has a large favor to ask that could be disruptive of your schedule or needed time to your self.

“Wish I could help you out today but my days’ busy just about to go from one thing to another and can‘t give it the attention it needs”

Scenario B: The Unsolicited Advice or Intrusion

When someone you care about crosses over the line into your choices of personal decisions,  lifestyle, or your the way you go about your daily life.

I adore you, and I understand that you are giving me this advice because you love me so much. But I so need to deal with this in my own way right now.

 Scenario C: The Exhausting Social Obligation

When you are asked to a family event or gathering, but your mental battery is sitting at zero.

“Thanks so much for inviting me! I so want to see you, but I am totally exhausted this weekend.  How about a quiet coffee date or a phone call next week?”

Scenario D: The Financial Request

When a close relative has asked to borrow something or has asked for financial help but you‘re not comfortable giving or lending.

I really cherish us, but I have this one hard-and-fast rule about not mixing money with family.  Hopefully you will understand.

4. How to Handle the Guilt and Pushback

The most difficult part of creating boundaries isn‘t saying the thing it‘s surviving the uncomfortable silence or fight that ensues. When you alter your reactions,  those accustomed to an automatic “yes” may be surprised, guilt-tripped,  and annoyed.

When this does occur,  realize that how they feel about it is a reflection of their standards, not a reflection of who you are. You owe them no one.  You can take a deep breath and create a clear boundary. If you feel the need to repeat yourself,  do so calmly. Don‘t feel compelled to over-explain or give an excessively large apology. An apology indicates you did something wrong; choosing to care for you isn‘t wrong.

5. Shifting Your Mindset

If you feel guilty after the fact,  then tell yourself one simple truth: “No” is a complete statement.  It is a tool for saving lives, not ending them. 

Substituting ‘no’ for what is being asked is no different than saying ‘yes’ to a clear mind,  clear conscience and the long haul.  As you learn to set boundaries, people learn what to expect from you and eventually,  the boundaries create respect,  honesty and meaningful interactions.

#mentalhealthawareness#mindfulness #wellbeing#selfcare#positivevibes #loveyourself#educationforal

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How to Build a “Growth Space” in Your House

Between work, screens and an endless to-do list, our homes can sometimes start to feel more like a bustling train station than a respite from it all. If you‘re feeling a little overwhelmed, or just not quite feeling yourself, there is a simple solution available just outside your door: creating your own ‘Growth Space’ at home.

A growth space is a place in your home that is specially dedicated to encouraging you to take the time to think, to delay, and to learn new things. It is a physical cue to prioritize you. And the best part is you don‘t need a lot of money or a whole room to make it happen. 

Below, you will find an easy-to-follow guide on how to create your own growth space and the positive impact it can have on your life.

1. Pick Your Perfect Spot

First, survey your home anew. An expansion space does not have to be an endless floor of over-sized guest rooms. Frequently it is as simple as:

A peaceful spot in your bedroom.

A certain chair by a sunny living room window. 

One reorganized closet became a little den. 

Just one side of a clean kitchen table.

The biggest rule. Choose a place. You need to settle down in one seat that you come into on a daily basis. In order to get your brain to fully relax and tune out internal and external worldly clatter, you need to go to the same seat each time you do your meditation.

2. Clear Out the Visual Noise

First thing, when you are adding new things to your space, you have to take away. Clutter is always depleting your energy. The stress of your new growth space is waiting right underneath of all that old mail, laundry on top of laundry, and work being done on your lap top. 

Clear out everything. Clean the surfaces. Remove everything that does not really support your peace of mind or your goals. A tidy table or an empty floor space allows your thoughts room to breathe.

3. Invite Nature Inside

We all have an instinctive desire to be with nature. This is called biophilia (incorporating the natural into our interiors). Adding a touch of outdoor to our indoor life reduces cortisol levels (the body‘s primary stress hormone) and increases happiness. 

Include several low-maintenance houseplants, such as a snake plant or a pothos. No green thumb? That‘s OK! Small touches can add up to make a difference:

Open the curtain at the window to allow the daylight to flow in. 

Put some smooth river stones in a small bowl and place it on a table.

Use a small water fountain so as to set up a calming soundscape.

4. Gather Your Growth Tools

What are you trying to accomplish here? Your tools are a reflection of your journey.

If your goal is... Add these to your space:

Mental clarity & Peace a cosy cushion on the ground, a yoga mat or a journal and a pretty mark pen.

Learning & Focus shelf of books you‘ve been meaning to read, a Kindle, or an inspiring magazine. 

Knowledge and Hobbies a sketchbook, knitting supplies, or a tablet to sketch on.

Keep the tools nearby on hand. We want no friction when you are ready to use them.

5. Engage Your Senses

While you create your growth space, engage all your five senses and you will sure feel instant glow in the mood as you enter your zone.

Touch: Cuddle the space in softness. Bring in a cozy knit blanket, a plush pillow, or a smooth granite worry stone.

Scent: lit a candle, such as cedarwood, lavender Note: used an essential oil diffuser as well. 

Audio: play relaxing beats through a Bluetooth speaker. These could be lo-fi, classical piano, or nature sounds such as rain falling.

The Golden Rule: Remember, this is a Zero-Screen Zone. Take your smartphone out of the room, or switch it to a complete silent mode. This territory is dedicated solely to your internal evolution.

The Daily Practice of Growing

It doesn‘t stop there! It‘s just the beginning… the real thing is when you start utilizing the space. Dedicate a small time of 15 to 20 minutes daily for this space. Whether you try to write 3 thing that you are thankful for, read few pages, do some stretches, drink a hot cup of tea or do nothing at all!

Eventually this small pocket of your house will become one of your best spots in the world. It’ll be no longer a physical space but a mental one where you’ll relax your mind, spark new ideas and evolve into the most comfortable & grateful you ever were.

#mentalhealthawareness#mindfulness #wellbeing#selfcare#positivevibes #loveyourself#educationforall