Try to Exchange of Mindless scrolling with Micro Connections

My exchange of Mindless Scrolling with “Micro-Connections” for a Week.  Became records of the outcomes.

We‘ve all experienced this. You have finished your dinner and flopped down on the sofa for a “just five minutes” and an hour has elapsed. Your thumbs are worn, your eyes are fatigued, and your mind is embroiled in a blanket of fleeting 15-second yesteryear personalities, outrage news, and a revolving selection of other peoples’ life highlights.

Last week I hit my threshold on my phone use. I felt as if I was just constantly “plugged” into the virtual world and was becoming more and more disconnected from my life, my home and the people within it.

So I ran a simple seven-day experiment. I didn’t ditch my phone at the bottom of the ocean. I didn’t delete all the social application and leave myself with just one lonely one. I simply swapped (the default image) for a (minimalist Micro-Connection).

Assessing What Is a Micro-Connection.

A Micro-Connection precisely lead-up to a one-on-one meeting (sometimes right before,  sometimes during) a deliberately small, manageable chunk of genuine human-in-the-world interaction (30 second 5 min).

This is just the right amount of time to kill while waiting for the kettle to boil,  stuck in the school pick-up line, or relaxing after dinner.  Rather than looking inward at a backlit screen, you look outward at a person.

Here‘s what I learned in my free week and how a very simple change totally transformed my week.

Day 1–3: The Friction Phase
The first couple days were harder than I expected them to be. Phantom vibration syndrome is well-documented.  All I had to do was feel a lull in my day,  and suddenly my hand was seeking my cell.

Catching myself in the act was about fifty percent of the battle.  Whenver I caught my thumb approaching an application, I made myself stop and scan the room.

The Kitchen Moment:  Rather than reading YouTube comments as I boiled the water I bounced the question off my six-year-old who was busy with homework at the dining table. “Tell me was the strangest thing about today” and I got ten minutes of in-depth discussion of a playground controversy that I would have otherwise entirely missed.

The Doorstep Chat:  I stopped rushing around avoiding eye contact and facing the screen. When the delivery arrived I would take off my headphones and pass the delivery driver with eye contact and a smile, wishing them good afternoon. The smile I got back would instantly put me in a good mood.

On Day 3,  My obsessive urge to check alerts slackened.

Day 4–5: The Ripple Effect
On Wednesday,  yet something astonishing occurred:  that anything micro related started to build up.

As soon as you begin to pay your attention to those around you they took notice. My home was suddenly calmer, yet much warmer.

Reconnect at home. Over the last week, instead of my wife and I sitting on opposite ends of the couch scanning our own newsfeeds, we each shared one interesting thing that had happened to us in the last 24 hours for ten minutes. Nothing special, no “date night,” no heavy discussions a light, 10-minute bridge from two people.

Reaching Out. When I felt the urge to scroll through the social feed of some distant acquittance, I texted a simple,  heartfelt voice memo to a true friend instead: “Just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today! Hope your week is going well.” Reaching out to one person exponentially easier.

Day 6–7: The Results
After seven days of trying to curb my phone time, I finally had the cold,  hard facts from my phone‘s native Screen Time report: I was down 42 percent.

More importantly,  I was free from the mental brain fog I normally experience when I read passively.  As I reflect on the week, here were my three biggest revelations:

1. Presence Takes Less Energy Than Distraction
I used to believe that scrolling was “resting,” but in truth,  going through hundreds of disconnected images,  advertisements and opinions an hour saps your mind of energy.  Using that energy on brief,  upbeat interactions instead kept me feeling lively rather than sluggish.

6.  Relate in the borders

We rely on grand moments holidays, long family dinners,  carefully arranged rendezvous to maintain our relationships. Yet it‘s really everyday moments that keep families tight roaring laughter over breakfast,  a midweek phone call when everyone is running around.

3. Attention Is a Choice
The ones on our phones are made to get us hooked, but they only succeed if we keep them on cruise control.  Shaking the habit loop with a willful physical decision shocks us out of the hypnotic trance instantly.

How to begin your personal 7-day experiment:

Which translates to:  If you‘d like to take an experiment in replacing mindless scrolling with micro-connections:

4.  Name Your Triggers When 3, 2, 1, Go,  you reach for your phone out of boredom (waiting in line, boiling water,  sitting around after a meal.)

Set a Basic Connection:  Have in your mind what you want your micro-connection to be before you step into a room. Either start by a question,  a compliment,  eye contact and “hey,” and greet someone close by.

• Ideas Beat Quantity: You need not engage in profound philosophical debates lasting hours.  Half an hour of laser-focused attention is worth far more than a full hour of distracted involvement.

Our time and our focus are, to me at least,  the most precious possessions we have.  I have learned this week that we can rediscover the beauty of the world by simply keeping our focus, and not spending it away on the algorithms.

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